affairs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · iPhone apps · sex · tinder

Warning to all Married Women: I will Have Sex with your Husband if I see him on Tinder ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

imageI suggest that all married women reading this download Tinder as soon as you can…I’ll tell you why near the end of this short post.

 
As of yesterday, Iโ€™ve officially had 100 one night stands just using my Tinder app!

If you’ve read my earlier posts, then you may remember that my goal is to have sex with 1,000 men that I meet on Tinder. So only 900 more penises to go before I officially become a SUPER DUPER SLUT๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

So far, 0% of the men that I’ve had sex with live in my city, but 32% of them have wives back home in whatever city they live in; most are in San Diego attending work conferences.

If I ever get married I’ll encourage my husband to have sex with other women. In fact, I’ll divorce my future husband if he leaves town for a business trip and doesn’t at the very least get a blow job.

I believe that married men and women should have sex with whoever they want to sleep with.

But I understand that 99% of wives don’t want their husbands’ dipping their dicks in the mouths, vaginas, and buttholes of other women.

Warning to all the married women of the world: if your cheating husband is on Tinder, and he and I match on that dating app, then I guarantee that his dick will be going in my mouth, my vaginaโ€ฆ..but not my butthole. Iโ€™m still not a fan of anal sex.

I don’t think it’s my responsibility to help keep your husband’s dick in his pants. In fact, married men are almost 100% STD free (I made this stat up, maybe I just hope it’s true ๐Ÿค”), so maybe it’s safer for me to only sleep with married men? I’m going to call my gynecologist’s office tomorrow because now I’m curious to know the answer.

Now back to my first sentence of this post, I suggest that all married women download Tinder just to make sure their husband isnโ€™t using it.

โ€œBut Jenny, you dumb slut, if I download Tinder then my husband might see my profile before I see his.โ€

Actually, there’s a setting on Tinder that only allows the people you โ€œLIKEโ€ to see your profile.

So ladies, I beg you, please catch your cheating husband before he and I find each other on Tinder, because I will have sex with him.

9 thoughts on “Warning to all Married Women: I will Have Sex with your Husband if I see him on Tinder ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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