Ways To Avoid Contracting The Coronavirus!

-Simple Things We Can Do To Stop The Spread Of The Coronavirus-

If ALL of us do our part we can stop this coronavirus thingy once and for all so that we can get back to having as much casual sex as we want! I mean this coronavirus is getting way out of hand…I haven’t had sex with anyone in nearly 4 weeks!!

Wash Your Hands Every 30 Minutes!

Washing your hands is a super simple thing we should be doing anyway, so please wash your hands every 30 minutes. And don’t bite your nails…not because of the coronavirus but because it’s kinda gross.

Don’t Touch Your Face!

I read somewhere that we touch our faces over 1,000 times per day, so this one will be a hard habit to break for most people, but just give it a shot.

Stay 14 Feet Apart From Others!

If we want to get back to sucking on feet again we need to practice social distancing just for the next few weeks…but it could be longer.

Stay Home If You’re Feeling Sick!

There’s no better time than now to miss work without your boss breathing down your neck about being sick…so if you’re not feeling 100% then take the week off.

Stay Off Dating Apps!

I love having one night stands with random men that I match with on Tinder, but now isn’t the time to hook up with strangers, so let’s take a break from all of our dating apps.

Don’t Get Lap Dances At The Strip Club!

We should still go to the strip clubs and support our local pole dancers, but let’s not take part in any lap dancing.

Don’t Get On A Cruise Ship!

Cruise ships are one of the worse places to be right now….

Don’t Get On An Airplane!

Why even risk it people…don’t fly anywhere right now…no one will give you a hard time for not wanting to fly….if there’s a wedding planned that you really don’t want to attend this is your chance to use this outbreak to your advantage!

Don’t Hire An Escort!

Let’s all take a break from any form of sexual activities with strangers until we contain this coronavirus…trust me, no one loves spreading their legs for strangers more than me and I’ve kept them tightly closed for 4 weeks….let’s all do our part so we can get back to having as much sex with anyone we want to.

Don’t Attend Swinger Parties!

This one hurts…but all of us swingers need to take a break from swinger clubs and parties for a couple of months.

Don’t Go To The Bars!

We go to the bars to drink and meet people…this leads to sex. Stay out of the bars so we can get back to having sex sooner than later.

Don’t Shake Hands With Others!

Don’t even fist bump anyone. Just say “hi” and that should be enough. Only an idiot wants to shake someone’s hand right now anyway.

Don’t Go To The Movies!

First off, there aren’t any movies out right now worth seeing, and second, why risk getting infected while watching a bad Ben Affleck movie.

Stay Away From The Gym!

Work out at home the next few weeks…too many bodily fluids flying around the gym at all times.

Don’t Eat At Restaurants!

You have no idea if the kitchen staff is healthy or not….make sure you can see your food being prepared.

-Conclusion-

I hope everyone follows these simple rules for the next few weeks so we can get back to our sexy & fun lives, but most importantly I hope everyone stays healthy & alive!