(This is an actual ad that some advertising agency thought was a good idea for Burger King. Heads up, women don’t think about sucking on dicks when we’re hungry, we just want to eat when we’re hungry. Please don’t depict women as cock hungry whores to help sell fast food. I don’t get offended easily, but whoever gave the okay for this ad is an asshole.)
Hey guys, don’t get me wrong, I really like penises.
I think they’re wonderful.
I want to hug them, hold them, kiss them, clean them, sing to them, and give them presents whenever I can.
But PLEASE, and not just for me, but for all penis lovers around the world, follow my below advice, and I can almost guarantee you’ll find your dick in more mouths, vaginas, and butts than ever before.
1. Don’t send unsolicited dick pics.
Unsolicited dick pics are essentially eyeball rape! No one wants to see your dick without warning. Chicks just don’t find Unsolicited dick pics sexy. If you think women just can’t wait to see a pic of your dick, trust me, we can wait.
Only send a dick pic if a chick requests one.
And if you really want to send a dick pic maybe first send a text or DM like this, “Hey girl, let me know if you ever want me to send you a pic of my dick, not sure if you like them or not, but if you do, I can send you one, hope you’re having a great day!”
Maybe she’ll say “yes”, maybe she’ll say “no”, but trust me, she still doesn’t want it, but at least you’re giving her the option.
2. Trim your ball hair
I don’t suck on hairy balls, and trust me, you want your balls sucked while your dick is getting stroked. Nothing kills the mood for a chick getting ready to slurp down on a dick than seeing a pair of balls sporting a ponytail.
You don’t have to shave your balls, a little hair is fine, but groom yourself regularly.
3. Don’t park your dick in my ass unless I give you the garage door opener
Don’t ever think that women want to have anal sex with a guy they don’t love. Some chicks love anal sex, but there are more women in the world that hate anal sex than those that love it.
Most women let you put your dick in their butt because they want to make you happy, but they really don’t want it.
So if you’re trying to sleep with a chick, don’t decide on your own to drop your dick off in their butt. If a chick really wants you to put your penis in their butt they’ll tell you.
4. Don’t have sex with my mouth, my mouth will have sex with your dick
Don’t penetrate a chick’s mouth with your dick unless she’s into that. And just like anal sex, a chick will tell you to “face fuck” her if she wants you to.
If a chick wants to “gag” on your penis then she’ll let you know. Getting a penis jammed down your throat doesn’t feel good, and honestly, it’s kind of a jerk move to do so.
5. If you work at an advertising agency, don’t create ads like the one at the top of this post that depict women as nothing more than cock hungry whores just so your client can sell more burgers and fries.
Okay, those are just 5 things women hate about penises I wanted guys to know about.
Just respect women when it comes to your penis and you’ll find your dick having more fun than ever before.
Maybe you don’t agree with my above advice, but you should, because I’m right.
Let me know what you hate, and what you love, about penises in the comments section if you want to.
Please scroll down and read a few more of my posts if you have time to do so!
Click here to have sex with hot women between the ages of 18 to 25 years old.