affairs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · iPhone apps · sex · tinder

Warning to all Married Women: I will Have Sex with your Husband if I see him on Tinder ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

imageI suggest that all married women reading this download Tinder as soon as you can…I’ll tell you why near the end of this short post.

 
As of yesterday, Iโ€™ve officially had 100 one night stands just using my Tinder app!

If you’ve read my earlier posts, then you may remember that my goal is to have sex with 1,000 men that I meet on Tinder. So only 900 more penises to go before I officially become a SUPER DUPER SLUT๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

So far, 0% of the men that I’ve had sex with live in my city, but 32% of them have wives back home in whatever city they live in; most are in San Diego attending work conferences.

If I ever get married I’ll encourage my husband to have sex with other women. In fact, I’ll divorce my future husband if he leaves town for a business trip and doesn’t at the very least get a blow job.

I believe that married men and women should have sex with whoever they want to sleep with.

But I understand that 99% of wives don’t want their husbands’ dipping their dicks in the mouths, vaginas, and buttholes of other women.

Warning to all the married women of the world: if your cheating husband is on Tinder, and he and I match on that dating app, then I guarantee that his dick will be going in my mouth, my vaginaโ€ฆ..but not my butthole. Iโ€™m still not a fan of anal sex.

I don’t think it’s my responsibility to help keep your husband’s dick in his pants. In fact, married men are almost 100% STD free (I made this stat up, maybe I just hope it’s true ๐Ÿค”), so maybe it’s safer for me to only sleep with married men? I’m going to call my gynecologist’s office tomorrow because now I’m curious to know the answer.

Now back to my first sentence of this post, I suggest that all married women download Tinder just to make sure their husband isnโ€™t using it.

โ€œBut Jenny, you dumb slut, if I download Tinder then my husband might see my profile before I see his.โ€

Actually, there’s a setting on Tinder that only allows the people you โ€œLIKEโ€ to see your profile.

So ladies, I beg you, please catch your cheating husband before he and I find each other on Tinder, because I will have sex with him.

affairs · Blow jobs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · Relationship advice · sex · Sexual positions

A Sexual Hall Pass For Married People ๐Ÿ‘

image

To all of the men reading this, if you’re fine with letting someone’s wife give you a blow job, then by all means please continue reading.

Ladies, you can read this as well if you wantโ€ฆbut I think this might be something that the dudes in the audience will be bigger fans of than you.

YES, I’m getting paid for this post. I need the money. I’m a single woman trying to have sex with 1,000 men as quickly as I can. And since I’m not an escort, prostitute, or sugar baby, I don’t get paid for having sex. My vagina is not for sale! But this post is for sale and I sold it, so please read it. Pretty please?

The people at MarriedHallPass.com will give anyone reading this a FREE LIFETIME membership to their affairs community.

They told me that you will NEVER have to use a credit card or send any other type of payment in order to become a FULL member of the sexually explicit MarriedHallPass.com affairs community.

MarriedHallPass.com guarantees that this is a full membership that allows you to use all of the features their site has to offer.

But, you have to be 18 years of age or older to get a free membership. You can only get a membership if you are 18 or older. Yes, I basically just wrote the exact same sentence twice (MarriedHallPass.com told me this post has to be 430 words or more in order to get paid, so I’m stretching this out a bit).

Follow these 3 simple instructions to get your free MarriedHallPass.com membership:

1) Please send an email to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

2) Type “Jenny sent me” in the subject line of the email that you are sending to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

3) Copy and paste this sentence below into the email message you are sending to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

“Jenny demands you send me a Married Hall Pass membership that I’ll never have to pay for because I’m at least 18 years of age or older.”

Pretty simple right ๐Ÿ˜„

Oh, if you don’t want to meet, flirt, and possibly have sex with married people, then you shouldn’t ask for a free membership.

Again, as I mentioned at the very top of this post, all of the men reading this, if you’re fine with letting someone’s wife give you a blow job, then by all means, get that free membership.

And ladies, if you want a married man’s penis in your mouth, then this is the membership you have been waiting for since the day you turned 18 years old.

Yes, 437 words! Iโ€™m getting paid for blogging ๐Ÿ’ฐ