Blow jobs · dating · orgasm · Relationship advice · sex · Swinger's party

Swinger’s Party advice: Give warning before ejaculating on my face πŸ˜•πŸ’¦πŸ†

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Okay guys, when you’re at a swinger’s party, before unilaterlly deciding to unload your wad onto the gal’s face that’s blowing you, have some common courtesy and maybe say, “I’m gonna cum” at least 4 seconds before you blast in her mouth, her face, or in her hair.

Some gals, even as slutty as myself, don’t want to be peeling off some random guys jizz from her face in the middle of a gang bang.

Let her decide where you’re going to dispose of your spunk.

I’m bringing this up because not one, but two dudes at a recent event ejaculated all over my face and hair without even letting me know what was about to happen.

Call me old fashioned, but I kinda want to decide if I’m going to be blinded by an avalanche of semen or not.

Not cool. Not cool at all πŸ˜•

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This is how to make semen taste really delicious πŸ˜˜πŸ†

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Love giving head but hate swallowing the load? Guys, do you want your woman to swallow your load everytime?

Okay, so I really love giving head, but I love tasting and swallowing cum more than sucking on an erection . But I get it that most women aren’t fans of “swallowing”. Maybe it’s the texture, maybe it’s the taste, maybe you’re not sure if it’s safe…but trust me, you can’t get pregnant by “swallowing”.

Now, texture of semen can’t be changed, but the taste of semen can be helped if you get your man to do the following:

1.) Stop smoking cigarettes. Smoking can make spunk taste grody to the max.

2.) Alcohol helps with getting the courage to place a huge penis in your mouth, but alcohol will make your man’s giant weiner blow out some funky tasting jizz. So don’t eat a load a day after a night of heavy drinking.

3.) Make him eat some celery. Celery is high in water and vitamin C and can clear the semen of what might be making his celery stick juice taste nasty.

4.) Smoking weed will not only get your lover high, it will also make his cum taste like a glass of crap.

5.) No more Starbuck runs. His coffee with cream is making the cream in his penis taste like sour milk in your mouth. So cut out coffee and even caffeine.

6.) Cut out dairy! Milk might do a body good, but it makes creamy jizz taste like a bag of hot farts.

7.) Drink cranberry juice. This will balance pH levels and will make you want to drink a glass full of his semen if you’re extremely thirsty…okay, a glass of even the tastiest semen will not go down well, but cranberry juice really does help!

8.) Cut out red meat. Steaks taste great, but the jizz blasting into your mouth from his meat bone will make you want to spit out his load just as fast as he exploded it into your mouth.

9.) Avoid these vegetable please: cauliflower and cabbage. Not only will his cum taste like dead fish guts, but will also make him blast out some nasty farts. Kill two birds with one stone!

10.) Cut out fast food. An Inn-And-Out burger will sour the ketchup coming out of his French fry!

11.) Eat lots of asparagus! I’m totally kidding here. We all know that asparagus will make any load taste worse than a hot bowl of turd shanks. PLEASE know that I’m kidding here. NO ASPARAGUS EVER!!!

As soon as your man makes these changes you will be more than happy sucking down every single drop of your man’s love juice.

Have fun having fun please!