Catfished · dating · Dating apps · Online dating · Relationship advice · sex · sex advice

Come on, date an ugly woman…new dating site review πŸ€”

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Okay, I’m not really sure what to think about this new dating site that was sent over to me by my friend Simon, But hey, at least this site is trying to help out women that suffer from the disease known as Ugly Face Syndrome.

I come across so many dating sites that use beautiful models as marketing tools to lure men into joining them. This site has decided to take the road less traveled and only wants “Ugly Women” to join.

It kind of makes sense though. Based on my own life experiences, and from talking to a lot of dudes, I have come to realization that guys are intimidated by beautiful women and find it easier to appraoch less attractive women.

I think all women are beautiful and no one should be judged on how They look. But I do like the fact that this site is designed to make it easier for men to want to join.

Now, I don’t know too much about the site or how it works, but Simon did tell me this:

“Hey babe, you gotta check out this site for your blog. Never seen anything like it. I joined it, and so far only got 2 matches, but honestly, that’s better than I get on Match or Plenty of Fish anyway. It’s free to sign up, but they make you put down a credit card to veryfy your age and they charge you $0.00 to verify that I am 18 or older. I think they only allow you to use the site for the first 3 days for free, and then, and I might not be incorrect because I don’t pay attention to things I sign up for, but I think I remember it saying that after 3 days I have to pay something to keep using it…and by the way, the chicks are not ugly, or maybe I’m blinded by boobs and don’t really look at chick’s heads.”

Check out this Ugly Women Dating Site!

If anyone ends up getting laid from this site let me know😘

dating · Dating apps · One night stand · Online dating · Relationship advice · sex · tinder

My Tinder Goal: Have sex with 1,000 Tinder matches 😬…sorry mom..

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I’m actually working on a book about my Tinder experiences . My goal is to have sex with 1,000 men I meet on Tinder.

So far I’m just at 73 Tinder one night stands, so I have a lot of swiping to do to hit my goal….I might have to have a thumb replacement surgery once this slutty journey comes to its final conclusionπŸ€”

My plan so far is to only have sex with men that are visiting my city and staying in hotels. This allows me to tell my friends which hotels, and room numbers, where I’ll be meeting my Tinder matches.

I also send my friends the cell number and a screenshot of my Tinder match profile pics.

So if any of you matches are planning on murdering me watch out, you’ll get caught before my body goes cold πŸ˜•

Wow that sounds really horrible, but you gotta be safe when meeting complete strangers for a one night stand.

Also, I don’t want to sleep with 1,000 men who live in my city. Too many guys might begin stalking me.

So only sleeping with Tinder matches that are on business trips or on vacations if you’re ever planning on being a Tinder hoe.

Wow, again this journey is starting to sound like a bad ideaπŸ€”

Anyone reading this probably thinks that I have a serious sex addiction…and I probably do. But I practice safe sex and fully examine all the men I sleep with…they don’t realize, or just don’t care, that I’m examining their balls and rods…guys will have sex with anyone that comes to their hotel room.

I encourage anyone that sleeps around as much as I do to always practice safe sex. It’s really not that difficult to keep yourself healthy.

And never, ever, no matter what, let a Tinder match go raw dog in you unless he asks you very politely.

I’m kidding, always make sure to wrap up any, and all, Tinder boners that are about to say hello to your female parts.

dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice · Selfies · sex

Chicks hate “dick-pics” πŸ“ΈπŸ†

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Okay gentlemen, just because a woman “matches” with you on Tinder, Bumble, or any other dating site/app does not mean it’s an open invitation to send her a “dick-pic”.

First off, penis pictures do not get chicks wet, and they’ll just think you’re a creep.

Also, don’t send too many shirtless selfies, and by too many I mean not even 1.

Shirtless selfies can really dry out a perfectly wonderful vagina.

Chicks can send men selfies of anything because we know it’ll get you hard….but please, I beg of you for all of the women in the world, we DON’T want the favor returned.

If you want to get laid from a dating app or dating site, just don’t be creepy. Pretty simple.

I’ll blow most guys I meet on dating apps just if they’re nice.

I hope this piece of advice helps you guys get laid…or at least a blow job πŸ’‹

 

 

dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice · sex advice · Swinger's party

Swinger’s Party Tip: Don’t get drunk at the party…

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Okay, it’s natural to be very nervous the first few times you attend a swinger’s party, or any swinger’s function in general.

Many newbies tend to drink a few too many cocktails to help with their nerves.

Please limit your alcohol consumption to 3 drinks or less 🍷🍾🍺

No swinger one wants to give a drunk guy a blow job…. I actually only allow newbies to have their way with me if they’re sober.

Every swinger you meet was a newbie at one point, and they understand how you’re feeling

Finally, you don’t want to gain a bad reputation as a drunk a-hole in the swinger community.

Try to be yourself and you’ll have the most fun.

Well I gotta end this post now, I’m heading to Orange County for a swinger’s party and I’m hoping to win the Blow Job contest again! The winner gets a cute t-shirt πŸ’‹

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Β Click here to go to a swinger’s party!

Anal sex · dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice · sex advice

So I finally tried anal sex last night…not a fan πŸ‘πŸ†πŸ˜•

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(Wow my booty looks cute in this picπŸ˜€)

I can’t imagine anyone who loves sex as much as I do. For crying out loud I’ve slept with 12 men and 12 women in one night at a swinger’s party two months ago….but I guess anal sex just ain’t this gal’s cup of tea.

My best friend Karen for over a year now has been telling me how wonderful her boyfriend is at banging her booty. So after a few months of her begging me to let her boyfriend do me anally, I finally gave in last night and let him do to me what she says he does best.

Oh, and let me admit right now that I’m typing this standing up πŸ˜•

I wanted to give it a fair shot, so Karen and I gave her BF a double BJ, he then performed anal on her first while she was going down on me, and then when I was extremely in the mood I let him give it to me where the sun don’t shine so brightly.

It didn’t really hurt at first, more so a couple hours after, but it just doesn’t stimulate me sexually as I thought it would have.

I’m glad I tried it though, and now I know I really don’t think I’ll be doing it ever again.

With all this said, I urge all women to give it a shot. You’ll never know what you don’t like unless you order something different from the menu every now and again.

I really hope my mom doesn’t read this πŸ˜•

Android apps · dating · Dating apps · iPhone apps · Relationship advice

Ladies, please stop telling guys “no hook ups” in your bioπŸ˜•

imageI have a quick tip for ladies that are using dating apps and dating sites to meet men….STOP TELLING GUYS THAT YOU AREN’T LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP IN YOUR BIO!!!

You don’t have to have sex with guys you meet on dating apps or sites…but when you tell them right off the bat that they aren’t going to get laid they’ll think you’re a prude.

It also makes you look no fun. Just leave it out. You don’t have to sleep with anyone you don’t want to. I have a lot of sex with guys I meet on these apps because I choose to. But go out on a date with someone you match with before you make any decisions.

A good bio should be one sentence and not a paragraph.

Something like this “Ask me out and I might say yes”

That’s all you need. You’ll match with the same guys no matter what your bio says.

Plus, guys want sex with everyone…they can’t help it.

dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice

If you want a BJ then you better give back the favorπŸ’‹πŸ†

imageThe best way to make sure you get lots of blow jobs from your girlfriend or wife is to always go down on her as well.

Blow jobs sometimes slow down as the relationship grows in length. So make sure that you’re really good at making her cum from your oral kisses. If you’re good at going down on her then she’ll always want to suck on you!

I love giving men blow jobs in the morning, noon, and night, but I’m a very sexual slut. Don’t expect bjs everyday, but you should expect a couple of them per week.

Ladies, men LOVE blow jobs. Men need blow jobs. Men also don’t cheat if they are getting consistent blow jobs. Also, don’t make your man “earn” a blow job. Just blow him for no reason at all, he’ll never stray.

And guys, I’m not saying it’s ok to cheat if your woman isn’t using your dick as a lollipop 7 days a week. If you cheat you’re just an a-hole.

But ladies, blow your man, and guys, eat out your lady😘😘😘

I need a 69’ing right about now 😬