affairs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · iPhone apps · sex · tinder

Warning to all Married Women: I will Have Sex with your Husband if I see him on Tinder ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

imageI suggest that all married women reading this download Tinder as soon as you can…I’ll tell you why near the end of this short post.

 
As of yesterday, Iโ€™ve officially had 100 one night stands just using my Tinder app!

If you’ve read my earlier posts, then you may remember that my goal is to have sex with 1,000 men that I meet on Tinder. So only 900 more penises to go before I officially become a SUPER DUPER SLUT๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

So far, 0% of the men that I’ve had sex with live in my city, but 32% of them have wives back home in whatever city they live in; most are in San Diego attending work conferences.

If I ever get married I’ll encourage my husband to have sex with other women. In fact, I’ll divorce my future husband if he leaves town for a business trip and doesn’t at the very least get a blow job.

I believe that married men and women should have sex with whoever they want to sleep with.

But I understand that 99% of wives don’t want their husbands’ dipping their dicks in the mouths, vaginas, and buttholes of other women.

Warning to all the married women of the world: if your cheating husband is on Tinder, and he and I match on that dating app, then I guarantee that his dick will be going in my mouth, my vaginaโ€ฆ..but not my butthole. Iโ€™m still not a fan of anal sex.

I don’t think it’s my responsibility to help keep your husband’s dick in his pants. In fact, married men are almost 100% STD free (I made this stat up, maybe I just hope it’s true ๐Ÿค”), so maybe it’s safer for me to only sleep with married men? I’m going to call my gynecologist’s office tomorrow because now I’m curious to know the answer.

Now back to my first sentence of this post, I suggest that all married women download Tinder just to make sure their husband isnโ€™t using it.

โ€œBut Jenny, you dumb slut, if I download Tinder then my husband might see my profile before I see his.โ€

Actually, there’s a setting on Tinder that only allows the people you โ€œLIKEโ€ to see your profile.

So ladies, I beg you, please catch your cheating husband before he and I find each other on Tinder, because I will have sex with him.

dating · iPhone apps · Lyft · sex · tinder · Uber

UBER Driver asked me to blow him! No thank you!

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Just because I dress like a slut, and on my way to have sex with a guy I just met on Tinder, ย does not give anyone the right, especially my Uber driver, to ask me to give him a blow job in exchange for free rides.

I’m officially deleting my Uber and Lyft apps. All of the male drivers say gross things to me, and I’m sure they do this to all the women they drive.

This fucking creep just now told me to call him whenever I need a ride and he’ll drive me anywhere for free in exchange for one blow job.

Not to come across as a bitch, but I’m going to report this jerk.

I barely spoke to the guy. I never told him I was meeting a guy for sex. I just told him I was meeting friends. I’m kinda super pissed off that people think they can ask someone to suck them off for free rides. WTF?!!

Here’s a dating tip to all you creepy Uber drivers: Don’t offer free rides for some road head! It’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

Sorry for venting. But to all you ladies out there, please be careful when you use Uber or Lyft. You never know what kind of person is driving you.

 

 

 

 

 

Android apps · dating · Dating apps · iPhone apps · Relationship advice

Ladies, please stop telling guys “no hook ups” in your bio๐Ÿ˜•

imageI have a quick tip for ladies that are using dating apps and dating sites to meet men….STOP TELLING GUYS THAT YOU AREN’T LOOKING FOR A HOOK UP IN YOUR BIO!!!

You don’t have to have sex with guys you meet on dating apps or sites…but when you tell them right off the bat that they aren’t going to get laid they’ll think you’re a prude.

It also makes you look no fun. Just leave it out. You don’t have to sleep with anyone you don’t want to. I have a lot of sex with guys I meet on these apps because I choose to. But go out on a date with someone you match with before you make any decisions.

A good bio should be one sentence and not a paragraph.

Something like this “Ask me out and I might say yes”

That’s all you need. You’ll match with the same guys no matter what your bio says.

Plus, guys want sex with everyone…they can’t help it.

Android apps · dating · Dating apps · iPhone apps

Women love it from behind ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘

imageOkay, I just sent a text to 22 of my slutty friends ย asking them how they like to have sex on a one night stand. 15 out of 22 responded with “doggie style”. I agree. So the next time you have a one night stand just do her from behind ๐Ÿ’‹

Dang I’m horny again. I need to create a real estate blog so I’m not always wetting my panties.

I guess I am a slut๐Ÿ˜•

Android apps · dating · Dating apps · iPhone apps

You can’t get jealous at a swinger’s party๐Ÿ˜•

imageSo I have sex with at least 5 women and 3or 4 men every weekend at swinger’s parties. I usually give blow jobs to married men while their wives watch on.

If you want to be invited to a swinger’s party then I might be able to help. But you will end up breaking up with your girlfriend or wife if they are the jealous type.

Also, if you’re a man reading this, you must know that you will have 2 or three hot chicks sucking you off at the same time, but also understand that your wife or girlfriend will also be getting screwed and blowing a few guys as well. If you’re the jealous type, then DO NOT EVER attend a swinger’s party๐Ÿ˜•

But they really are fun if you have the right partner in your life ๐Ÿ˜˜

All this swinger party talk is making me want to suck on something hard right now, I’m so wet ๐Ÿ’‹

If you want to go to a swinger’s party Click Here please…