Catfished · dating · Dating apps · Online dating · Relationship advice · sex · sex advice

Come on, date an ugly woman…new dating site review ๐Ÿค”

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Okay, I’m not really sure what to think about this new dating site that was sent over to me by my friend Simon, But hey, at least this site is trying to help out women that suffer from the disease known as Ugly Face Syndrome.

I come across so many dating sites that use beautiful models as marketing tools to lure men into joining them. This site has decided to take the road less traveled and only wants “Ugly Women” to join.

It kind of makes sense though. Based on my own life experiences, and from talking to a lot of dudes, I have come to realization that guys are intimidated by beautiful women and find it easier to appraoch less attractive women.

I think all women are beautiful and no one should be judged on how They look. But I do like the fact that this site is designed to make it easier for men to want to join.

Now, I don’t know too much about the site or how it works, but Simon did tell me this:

“Hey babe, you gotta check out this site for your blog. Never seen anything like it. I joined it, and so far only got 2 matches, but honestly, that’s better than I get on Match or Plenty of Fish anyway. It’s free to sign up, but they make you put down a credit card to veryfy your age and they charge you $0.00 to verify that I am 18 or older. I think they only allow you to use the site for the first 3 days for free, and then, and I might not be incorrect because I don’t pay attention to things I sign up for, but I think I remember it saying that after 3 days I have to pay something to keep using it…and by the way, the chicks are not ugly, or maybe I’m blinded by boobs and don’t really look at chick’s heads.”

Check out this Ugly Women Dating Site!

If anyone ends up getting laid from this site let me know๐Ÿ˜˜

Blow jobs · dating · sex · sex advice

This is how to make semen taste really delicious ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ†

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Love giving head but hate swallowing the load? Guys, do you want your woman to swallow your load everytime?

Okay, so I really love giving head, but I love tasting and swallowing cum more than sucking on an erection . But I get it that most women arenโ€™t fans of “swallowing”. Maybe it’s the texture, maybe it’s the taste, maybe you’re not sure if it’s safeโ€ฆbut trust me, you can’t get pregnant by “swallowing”.

Now, texture of semen can’t be changed, but the taste of semen can be helped if you get your man to do the following:

1.) Stop smoking cigarettes. Smoking can make spunk taste grody to the max.

2.) Alcohol helps with getting the courage to place a huge penis in your mouth, but alcohol will make your man’s giant weiner blow out some funky tasting jizz. So don’t eat a load a day after a night of heavy drinking.

3.) Make him eat some celery. Celery is high in water and vitamin C and can clear the semen of what might be making his celery stick juice taste nasty.

4.) Smoking weed will not only get your lover high, it will also make his cum taste like a glass of crap.

5.) No more Starbuck runs. His coffee with cream is making the cream in his penis taste like sour milk in your mouth. So cut out coffee and even caffeine.

6.) Cut out dairy! Milk might do a body good, but it makes creamy jizz taste like a bag of hot farts.

7.) Drink cranberry juice. This will balance pH levels and will make you want to drink a glass full of his semen if you’re extremely thirsty…okay, a glass of even the tastiest semen will not go down well, but cranberry juice really does help!

8.) Cut out red meat. Steaks taste great, but the jizz blasting into your mouth from his meat bone will make you want to spit out his load just as fast as he exploded it into your mouth.

9.) Avoid these vegetable please: cauliflower and cabbage. Not only will his cum taste like dead fish guts, but will also make him blast out some nasty farts. Kill two birds with one stone!

10.) Cut out fast food. An Inn-And-Out burger will sour the ketchup coming out of his French fry!

11.) Eat lots of asparagus! I’m totally kidding here. We all know that asparagus will make any load taste worse than a hot bowl of turd shanks. PLEASE know that I’m kidding here. NO ASPARAGUS EVER!!!

As soon as your man makes these changes you will be more than happy sucking down every single drop of your man’s love juice.

Have fun having fun please!

Anal sex · dating · Relationship advice · sex advice

Help me figure out an anal sex strategy please ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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Okay, I’m going to try anal sex one more time Monday night with a guy I met at a swinger’s party. But I have been doing my research as any good slut should do, and I think I made a mistake last night by not using enough lube.

If anyone has some advice other than using 10 barrels of lube when having anal sex, then please feel free to let me know because I really want to have a spectacular anal sex experience.

I heard anal beads and butt plugs may also be helpful in getting me in the mood. I am desperate here people ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice · sex advice · Swinger's party

Swinger’s Party Tip: Don’t get drunk at the party…

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Okay, it’s natural to be very nervous the first few times you attend a swinger’s party, or any swinger’s function in general.

Many newbies tend to drink a few too many cocktails to help with their nerves.

Please limit your alcohol consumption to 3 drinks or less ๐Ÿท๐Ÿพ๐Ÿบ

No swinger one wants to give a drunk guy a blow job…. I actually only allow newbies to have their way with me if they’re sober.

Every swinger you meet was a newbie at one point, and they understand how you’re feeling

Finally, you don’t want to gain a bad reputation as a drunk a-hole in the swinger community.

Try to be yourself and you’ll have the most fun.

Well I gotta end this post now, I’m heading to Orange County for a swinger’s party and I’m hoping to win the Blow Job contest again! The winner gets a cute t-shirt ๐Ÿ’‹

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ย Click here to go to a swinger’s party!

Anal sex · dating · Dating apps · Relationship advice · sex advice

So I finally tried anal sex last night…not a fan ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜•

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(Wow my booty looks cute in this pic๐Ÿ˜€)

I can’t imagine anyone who loves sex as much as I do. For crying out loud I’ve slept with 12 men and 12 women in one night at a swinger’s party two months ago….but I guess anal sex just ain’t this gal’s cup of tea.

My best friend Karen for over a year now has been telling me how wonderful her boyfriend is at banging her booty. So after a few months of her begging me to let her boyfriend do me anally, I finally gave in last night and let him do to me what she says he does best.

Oh, and let me admit right now that I’m typing this standing up ๐Ÿ˜•

I wanted to give it a fair shot, so Karen and I gave her BF a double BJ, he then performed anal on her first while she was going down on me, and then when I was extremely in the mood I let him give it to me where the sun don’t shine so brightly.

It didn’t really hurt at first, more so a couple hours after, but it just doesn’t stimulate me sexually as I thought it would have.

I’m glad I tried it though, and now I know I really don’t think I’ll be doing it ever again.

With all this said, I urge all women to give it a shot. You’ll never know what you don’t like unless you order something different from the menu every now and again.

I really hope my mom doesn’t read this ๐Ÿ˜•