affairs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · iPhone apps · sex · tinder

Warning to all Married Women: I will Have Sex with your Husband if I see him on Tinder ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

imageI suggest that all married women reading this download Tinder as soon as you can…I’ll tell you why near the end of this short post.

 
As of yesterday, Iโ€™ve officially had 100 one night stands just using my Tinder app!

If you’ve read my earlier posts, then you may remember that my goal is to have sex with 1,000 men that I meet on Tinder. So only 900 more penises to go before I officially become a SUPER DUPER SLUT๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

So far, 0% of the men that I’ve had sex with live in my city, but 32% of them have wives back home in whatever city they live in; most are in San Diego attending work conferences.

If I ever get married I’ll encourage my husband to have sex with other women. In fact, I’ll divorce my future husband if he leaves town for a business trip and doesn’t at the very least get a blow job.

I believe that married men and women should have sex with whoever they want to sleep with.

But I understand that 99% of wives don’t want their husbands’ dipping their dicks in the mouths, vaginas, and buttholes of other women.

Warning to all the married women of the world: if your cheating husband is on Tinder, and he and I match on that dating app, then I guarantee that his dick will be going in my mouth, my vaginaโ€ฆ..but not my butthole. Iโ€™m still not a fan of anal sex.

I don’t think it’s my responsibility to help keep your husband’s dick in his pants. In fact, married men are almost 100% STD free (I made this stat up, maybe I just hope it’s true ๐Ÿค”), so maybe it’s safer for me to only sleep with married men? I’m going to call my gynecologist’s office tomorrow because now I’m curious to know the answer.

Now back to my first sentence of this post, I suggest that all married women download Tinder just to make sure their husband isnโ€™t using it.

โ€œBut Jenny, you dumb slut, if I download Tinder then my husband might see my profile before I see his.โ€

Actually, there’s a setting on Tinder that only allows the people you โ€œLIKEโ€ to see your profile.

So ladies, I beg you, please catch your cheating husband before he and I find each other on Tinder, because I will have sex with him.

affairs · Blow jobs · cheating · dating · Infidelity · Relationship advice · sex · Sexual positions

A Sexual Hall Pass For Married People ๐Ÿ‘

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To all of the men reading this, if you’re fine with letting someone’s wife give you a blow job, then by all means please continue reading.

Ladies, you can read this as well if you wantโ€ฆbut I think this might be something that the dudes in the audience will be bigger fans of than you.

YES, I’m getting paid for this post. I need the money. I’m a single woman trying to have sex with 1,000 men as quickly as I can. And since I’m not an escort, prostitute, or sugar baby, I don’t get paid for having sex. My vagina is not for sale! But this post is for sale and I sold it, so please read it. Pretty please?

The people at MarriedHallPass.com will give anyone reading this a FREE LIFETIME membership to their affairs community.

They told me that you will NEVER have to use a credit card or send any other type of payment in order to become a FULL member of the sexually explicit MarriedHallPass.com affairs community.

MarriedHallPass.com guarantees that this is a full membership that allows you to use all of the features their site has to offer.

But, you have to be 18 years of age or older to get a free membership. You can only get a membership if you are 18 or older. Yes, I basically just wrote the exact same sentence twice (MarriedHallPass.com told me this post has to be 430 words or more in order to get paid, so I’m stretching this out a bit).

Follow these 3 simple instructions to get your free MarriedHallPass.com membership:

1) Please send an email to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

2) Type “Jenny sent me” in the subject line of the email that you are sending to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

3) Copy and paste this sentence below into the email message you are sending to married.hall.pass@gmail.com

“Jenny demands you send me a Married Hall Pass membership that I’ll never have to pay for because I’m at least 18 years of age or older.”

Pretty simple right ๐Ÿ˜„

Oh, if you don’t want to meet, flirt, and possibly have sex with married people, then you shouldn’t ask for a free membership.

Again, as I mentioned at the very top of this post, all of the men reading this, if you’re fine with letting someone’s wife give you a blow job, then by all means, get that free membership.

And ladies, if you want a married man’s penis in your mouth, then this is the membership you have been waiting for since the day you turned 18 years old.

Yes, 437 words! Iโ€™m getting paid for blogging ๐Ÿ’ฐ

dating · iPhone apps · Lyft · sex · tinder · Uber

UBER Driver asked me to blow him! No thank you!

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Just because I dress like a slut, and on my way to have sex with a guy I just met on Tinder, ย does not give anyone the right, especially my Uber driver, to ask me to give him a blow job in exchange for free rides.

I’m officially deleting my Uber and Lyft apps. All of the male drivers say gross things to me, and I’m sure they do this to all the women they drive.

This fucking creep just now told me to call him whenever I need a ride and he’ll drive me anywhere for free in exchange for one blow job.

Not to come across as a bitch, but I’m going to report this jerk.

I barely spoke to the guy. I never told him I was meeting a guy for sex. I just told him I was meeting friends. I’m kinda super pissed off that people think they can ask someone to suck them off for free rides. WTF?!!

Here’s a dating tip to all you creepy Uber drivers: Don’t offer free rides for some road head! It’s NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!

Sorry for venting. But to all you ladies out there, please be careful when you use Uber or Lyft. You never know what kind of person is driving you.

 

 

 

 

 

Comic con · Cosplay · dating · san diego · sex · tinder

Comic Con + Tinder = Sex, Sex, & more Sex!

imageI can’t guarantee many things in life, but I can pretty much guarantee that anyone who uses the Tinder dating app, man or woman, in San Diego during Comic Con will get laid.

Living in San Diego is one reason why I’ll be able to reach my goal of having sex with 1,000 men that I meet on Tinder within the next 2 years or less, and during this upcoming Comic Con I plan on sleeping with at least 20 guys.

At last year’s Comic Con I found myself at a cosplay swinger’s party blowing three Ghostbusters at the same time while Deadpool and a zombie were taking turns doing me from behind. Was it weird, kinda, but it was still pretty fun.

I also had sex with three other guys I met on Tinder at Comic Con last year.

But anyone who goes to San Diego’s Comic Con can have sex if they use their Tinder app. Everyone is having a great time. Everyone is away from home on vacation. Everyone has a hotel room. And everyone at Comic Con parties all night long.

Also, all of the cosplay costumes are pretty sexy. You could find yourself banging Wonder Woman one night, and then a chick dressed up as a Smurf the next.

Tinder + Comic Con = Sex, Sex, & more Sex!

Press or Tap Here to Find 299 Women that want Sex!

Catfished · dating · Dating apps · Online dating · Relationship advice · sex · sex advice

Come on, date an ugly woman…new dating site review ๐Ÿค”

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Okay, I’m not really sure what to think about this new dating site that was sent over to me by my friend Simon, But hey, at least this site is trying to help out women that suffer from the disease known as Ugly Face Syndrome.

I come across so many dating sites that use beautiful models as marketing tools to lure men into joining them. This site has decided to take the road less traveled and only wants “Ugly Women” to join.

It kind of makes sense though. Based on my own life experiences, and from talking to a lot of dudes, I have come to realization that guys are intimidated by beautiful women and find it easier to appraoch less attractive women.

I think all women are beautiful and no one should be judged on how They look. But I do like the fact that this site is designed to make it easier for men to want to join.

Now, I don’t know too much about the site or how it works, but Simon did tell me this:

“Hey babe, you gotta check out this site for your blog. Never seen anything like it. I joined it, and so far only got 2 matches, but honestly, that’s better than I get on Match or Plenty of Fish anyway. It’s free to sign up, but they make you put down a credit card to veryfy your age and they charge you $0.00 to verify that I am 18 or older. I think they only allow you to use the site for the first 3 days for free, and then, and I might not be incorrect because I don’t pay attention to things I sign up for, but I think I remember it saying that after 3 days I have to pay something to keep using it…and by the way, the chicks are not ugly, or maybe I’m blinded by boobs and don’t really look at chick’s heads.”

Check out this Ugly Women Dating Site!

If anyone ends up getting laid from this site let me know๐Ÿ˜˜

Blow jobs · dating · orgasm · Relationship advice · sex · Swinger's party

Swinger’s Party advice: Give warning before ejaculating on my face ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ†

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Okay guys, when you’re at a swinger’s party, before unilaterlly deciding to unload your wad onto the gal’s face that’s blowing you, have some common courtesy and maybe say, “I’m gonna cum” at least 4 seconds before you blast in her mouth, her face, or in her hair.

Some gals, even as slutty as myself, don’t want to be peeling off some random guys jizz from her face in the middle of a gang bang.

Let her decide where you’re going to dispose of your spunk.

I’m bringing this up because not one, but two dudes at a recent event ejaculated all over my face and hair without even letting me know what was about to happen.

Call me old fashioned, but I kinda want to decide if I’m going to be blinded by an avalanche of semen or not.

Not cool. Not cool at all ๐Ÿ˜•

Please CLICK HERE if you want to get invited to a swinger’s party!

dating · Dating apps · One night stand · Online dating · Relationship advice · sex · tinder

My Tinder Goal: Have sex with 1,000 Tinder matches ๐Ÿ˜ฌ…sorry mom..

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I’m actually working on a book about my Tinder experiences . My goal is to have sex with 1,000 men I meet on Tinder.

So far I’m just at 73 Tinder one night stands, so I have a lot of swiping to do to hit my goal….I might have to have a thumb replacement surgery once this slutty journey comes to its final conclusion๐Ÿค”

My plan so far is to only have sex with men that are visiting my city and staying in hotels. This allows me to tell my friends which hotels, and room numbers, where I’ll be meeting my Tinder matches.

I also send my friends the cell number and a screenshot of my Tinder match profile pics.

So if any of you matches are planning on murdering me watch out, you’ll get caught before my body goes cold ๐Ÿ˜•

Wow that sounds really horrible, but you gotta be safe when meeting complete strangers for a one night stand.

Also, I don’t want to sleep with 1,000 men who live in my city. Too many guys might begin stalking me.

So only sleeping with Tinder matches that are on business trips or on vacations if you’re ever planning on being a Tinder hoe.

Wow, again this journey is starting to sound like a bad idea๐Ÿค”

Anyone reading this probably thinks that I have a serious sex addiction…and I probably do. But I practice safe sex and fully examine all the men I sleep with…they don’t realize, or just don’t care, that I’m examining their balls and rods…guys will have sex with anyone that comes to their hotel room.

I encourage anyone that sleeps around as much as I do to always practice safe sex. It’s really not that difficult to keep yourself healthy.

And never, ever, no matter what, let a Tinder match go raw dog in you unless he asks you very politely.

I’m kidding, always make sure to wrap up any, and all, Tinder boners that are about to say hello to your female parts.