Coronavirus · Relationship advice

The Coronavirus Is Keeping Me From Getting Wiener!

The Coronavirus Is Keeping Me From Getting Wiener!

Well it seems as if the Coronavirus is a very bad thing for super sexually active people like myself.

Seriously, I’ve had as much sex as a nun has had the past 4 weeks…ZERO…and I’m going crazy!

First of all, my goal of having sex with 1,000 men that I match with on the Tinder dating app has been halted due to this darn Coronavirus thing which really sucks because I have less than 200 men to sleep with, but no way am I going to risk death over random wiener appointments.

And second, the Coronavirus has also slowed down the swinger party scene as well, so instead of having amazing sex with multiple people on the weekends I’ve been stuck at home binge watching Netflix shows.

A couple groups that I swing with are still planning on hosting swinger parties this upcoming weekend, but no way am I going to risk contracting the Coronavirus until things get under control.

Hopefully the CDC will figure something out soon because I really, really, really need to get some wiener soon or I’m going to lose my mind.

Coronavirus Hates Strippers

-The Coronavirus Hates Strippers-

okay, I want to urge all of you men out there to consider hitting up your local strip club this week. All of my female stripper friends are struggling right now because no one wants to get a lap dance…you don’t have to get lap dances to enjoy a night out at the strip club, I mean lap dances are fun, but you can still have a sexy good time watching beautiful women pole-dance naked on stage in front if you.

-Jenny’s Coronavirus Tip Of The Week-

Please wash your hands every 30 minutes. I know that might sound aggressive, but if you make a habit out of washing your hands every 30 minutes the spread of this darn Coronavirus will slow down and I’ll be able to start getting laid again on a consistent basis.

But seriously though, I hope everyone stays safe and please feel free to email me if you get bored because I have a LOT of time on my hands at the moment and would love to hear from all of you.



17 thoughts on “The Coronavirus Is Keeping Me From Getting Wiener!

  1. Yeah this whole thing puts a crimp in all of our lives. It’s causing me to postpone my 40th birthday party for this weekend, which really blows, and not in the fun way.


  2. You can do me 200 times and I’ll pretend to be different men so you reach your goal :)Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy Note9.


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